Nov 18th Back and Forth Notebook

The last week or so my prayer journal has really reflected my frustration with this topic of a' Back and Forth Notebook'. Asking God to clarify the issue of ' keeping a record of wrongs'. The bio grandma has been having two full day visitations. Tues and Sat. At the end of each she reports that the schedule I report to keeping is impossible. So the baby has been sleeping for an hour before he gets home, sometimes he hasn't been fed, and he has been coming home with a strange rash around his eyes. Of course I have been documenting each incident, but she is still upset and sends regular e-mails to the professionals in the case saying she isn't getting any information. All that being said our new social worker decided to call a meeting. A ' class' if you will, on the proper usage of the book. That meeting was today. I asked my sister to watch the kids. Called a few friends and asked them to pray for my attitude and went. Of course I also brought along my m&m's, just in case. A full and happy mouth is less apt to say something regrettable.
Throughout the meeting the bio mom held the baby, leaving Alex to take apart a Candy Land game and use the little men to have a battle. ;-) I have to say, I really feel good about the way I responded. Which was possibly due to the m&m's, but more likely my friends were pleading with the Lord to keep my mouth shut. :-) After our new social worker asked me to write out a specific schedule and post it on the inside of the notebook, she asked them to be specific about what time the baby eats and sleeps etc... Then she said, ' Thank you for coming, I have another meeting to get to.' And tried to close the meeting. The grandmother's boyfriend got very upset, saying he always felt rushed and when were they going to be getting the boys? Our SW said that there was really no specifics that she could give him, it was all very dependant on how things go in the future. This is the point in the meeting where I remembered we hadn't asked them if we could take their children to Disneyland with us in a little less than a month. (Now you may be wondering why we neglected to ask them about a trip that we have known about for a little over a year... We were under strict orders from all the professionals involved to let them handle it in their time) The bio mom says, ' Well I have some questions to ask about it, but not in front of her.' Then jabs her thumb towards me. Seriously 10 months later surely she knows my name!!! Oh well. The boyfriend is still very upset about being rushed and starts to get louder. This is when our SW motions for me to take the children and head to the elevators. About half way down the hall I look back for her and see her warning the boyfriend to back off. Braved little thing! I have a new appreciation for her. So, now I am an expert back and forth 'er'. But we still have no decision about our trip, and whether we will be making it as our family has come to be or as we were.