Why Me?

Writing can be a very cathartic thing,

 it lets you feel all the feelings, 

but in a relatively "safe" place.  

I can choose, how and when I want to present things.  

We have chosen to go the "brutally honest" route, which is good and bad.

Good because it is an REAL look at foster care and all the ins and outs of it.  

Bad, because it is a REAL look at foster care. 

But the "WHY ME", has come back to the forefront of my mind, over and over again. 

I realized tonight that it applied all of the "Why's" in my life.  

"Why foster, Why write, Why me?"

See a need, fill a need. 

That is an oversimplification, but it's never been more true.

Why foster?  The need is evident.   

Every day in my home state, 14 children and teens go into foster care. 

EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! 

We also wanted to add to our family.  

We fostered with a concurrent goal of adoption, 

should the right situation arise.  

And it did, 5 times. 

Why write?  

Again, I saw a need. 

A need to redeem the years spent and the tears shed.  

We have had about 30 children in our home over the last 10yrs.  

If you walk that back, you can see that we 

"Welcomed"

 and said "Until next time" 

over 20 times. 

The pain, and the growth, and the sheer determination that, that required, is not easily described, put into words, or made read-able.  

A book was born. 

We can not currently accept placements, because of Colorado law 

and the 8 under 18 rule.  

After our oldest has his next birthday, we will consider again, if we can step back into that ring, and take on another case.  

We'll see what God does.  

Meanwhile, it is our burning passion to talk about foster care, to pour into other families and bear up other families and their burdens.  

To uplift, and inspire other families in doing "the next thing", 

even when that thing is ugly and difficult. 

Why me?  

I fostered because I live to mother. 

I write because writing is life, it is breath, and it can be that to another mom, dad, grandparent, or neighbor facing foster care.

Maybe someone is wanting to understand it as a way of loving someone in their lives. 

We fostered because of a calling we felt from God, to step out in faith.

I write for the same reason.  

A calling, almost an compulsion to share, and it requires huge faith.  

God created me, 

He created our family as it was, 

as it has grown to be, 

and everything we will become. 

He has a purpose and I believe He will redeem the years and tears as only He can.