***WARNING*** It's about to get real.

When I was a child, I KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

 

 

When I was a young adult, I knew EVERYTHING about what I wanted out of a marriage.

 

 

When I was a young mother I knew EVERYTHING about being THE BEST parent.

 

 

And all along I thought I had a good handle on the rest of the stuff.

 

Now, here we are, I'm 30 something (hint: It rhymes with heaven)

 

 

 

AND I KNOW NOTHING!!!!!

 

I grew up with parents that had it all very together!

Great job, beautiful home, wonderful marriage.

Our church life was equally great! 

Inspiring pastors, loving people, and the music....

It made you want to clap and cry at the same time.

WONDERFUL.

 

So when did it all fall apart???

 

How did I go from the person who "had a good handle on stuff" to

a person that constantly questions every decision?

 

I GREW UP 

 

As children we think that things will be JUST LIKE this, wherever we go.

Our marriage will be like our parents, (I happen to have a great role-model here!)

That our sibling relationships will always be as fun-chaotic-loving-there as they were.

That our social world will keep spinning... (ours was a church that we adored)

That our children would grow up with grandparents that worshipped them, like ours did!

 

But then, we grow up.

 

Our mate turns out to be as human as we are.

A sibling is taken from life far too soon.

A church friend says something ignorant.

And grandparents die without ever having met their grandchildren.

 

I need refuge in a life that it turns out, I DON'T have a handle on.

 

I am asking people I love, and trust, for advice, encouragement, direction.

 

One of my favorite people in the world recently passed away.

I was so grateful to be able to go through her room, touching things that were precious to her.

Looking through her books, I found one by Beth Moore that she had started.

I've heard great things about this particular author, and I'm really hoping to glean a little...

something.

 

This is my new motto